I've been back in the city for 7 days now and I've wanted to blog about it. Somehow I couldn't. Things are good, at least Uptown. In Lakeview they're bad. Soul-wrenchingly depressing. In New Orleans East, Chalmette and St. Bernard it's a gritty dusty scene from an 'end of the world' science-fiction movie.
There is no longer any fiction in New Orleans; there is only truth. And the truth is different for everyone, and it is the same. Everyone who lived in this city faces the truth that the city has been crippled. It was put in a strange-dimensional washing machine for 12 hours when Katrina hit. Followed then by a chaotic rinse cycle of rumors and half-baked notions (people shooting at rescue workers, people eating their young to survive). Now we are at the end of the spin cycle. Life is becoming familiar again. At least for some of us, those who can return to their homes and live within the part of the city that is still able to sustain communal life.
I went jogging this morning in Audubon Park for the first time since the Sunday before Katrina hit. The jogging path is much different now. Tree limbs are everywhere. And the trees look like Godzilla came through and smashed the tops off. No, the jog through Audubon Park is not quite the same. No more dappled sunlight.
If the sunlight represents the truth of this city's state of being then it is fitting that the sunlight be intense and unfiltered. When I finished jogging my friend Vincent asked me how the jog was. I told him it was sad. He then asked what I meant by that. I thought about it and replied that perhaps 'sad' was the wrong word.
He asked what the 'right' word was. I thought some more and realized that there was no 'right word.' The best I could come up with was an image. The city now is like one of those friendly three-legged dogs you see in an unfamiliar street. It's not sad exactly because the dog is happy and coping and you know that it is making its way the best that it can. But, it's, well... you know: not cheerful, either.
I plan to write more about New Orleans in the next days. I have the material written out, but I need to figure out what I really want to say. There is a lot to say about this city and the people who are here now. Mostly, it's good. People are eager to rebuild and to make the city vibrant. But not everyone who wants to be here can be. Many people have lost their homes, their jobs, or their will to return.
New Orleans will never be the same. And yet, at the same time, it will always be the same. Is that a contradiction? Probably, but then so is this city. If you lived here and you understood the city then you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't lived here and want to understand then come see what's going on. It's pretty amazing, but unfortunately I don't even have an image to describe it. All I can say is that it's worth being close to.
New Orleans is coming back to life. Have you ever witnessed the rebirth of a city? Creation of any kind is very hard to explain, especially when it happens to an entire community. So I won't try. But if you are interested you should come here and see what's going on. If you stand perfectly still and close your eyes you can feel the magic flowing in and saturating everything from the deepest soil to the tallest limbs.
How sad. Sincerest wishes for a smooth adjustment as you settle in again.
Posted by: stolie | October 16, 2005 at 08:10 PM
Three-legged dog. I think you've got something there. Keep posting, I'll keep reading. I hope to come down and see and help with the rebirth too soon. Stay well.
Posted by: Parvenu | October 16, 2005 at 09:16 PM
I know I'd be sad too, running through Audubon Park, but I'm jealous I can't be there doing that now. Living in another city while your city sits there being slowly repaired is killing me, even if there's a very good reason to be somewhere else for the time being. I hope I can be there soon, throwing a frisbee on the fly and helping my town recover.
Posted by: Aaron | October 18, 2005 at 12:19 AM