The Hip Lingo of Comment Spammers

Some of you may recall that I disabled comments to my posts awhile back. I also announced that I wasn't going to go back and close the comments on my old posts, but would instead just close them individually as I got a comment spam for each old post. I also said that I would cry out 'Comment Spam Bingo!' when I reached the last post.

Well, I haven't declared 'Bingo' yet, though I've been receiving a steady stream of spam comments. Inevitably, the spam comment will contain a link to a porn site, accompanied by a fake E-mail address and fake names like Jenny, Justin, or Madison. But my favorite part is the lame comments that are left. Here are some typical examples: "Nice site. Go on like this," or "I'm glad I've found this site. I like it here." Yesterday, I deleted a comment that said: "I know its true now, thanks for info."

I don't know why, but the style and syntax of these sparse words intrigues me to no end. They convey a paranoic determinism, punctuated by a hint of wandering innocence. I'm waiting for one that asks "what is the frequency Kenneth?" That will mark a watershed moment, and at that point we shall move into the 'lightning round' of Comment Spam Bingo (where the dollar values are doubled). I don't know about you, but I'm getting kind of excited.